Tons of hugs....

Take two!

Where to begin... the reality of being in Africa is starting to settle into the volunteers, and the initial idealism / romanticism of being here is wearing off. After our placement each day we sit around dinner telling our stories, and many of them are not good. Kids are regularly hit/beaten in the government schools. The government turned off the water in the juvenile detention center to save money -- at the home for street kids they are only fed rice, and daily the kids scrape the burnt remnants from the pot because they aren't given enough food to eat. A couple of friends visited the operating room last Friday. Literally. They were not asked to scrub in or wear gowns, they were just allowed to stand there in their street clothes. The woman was having an operation on her uterus with only minimal local anesthesia (there is very little general anesthesia available in the hospitals). Wide awake and utterly terrified she began screaming -- to get her to quiet down the nurse repeatedly slapped her across the face and yelled at her. This is all done in a surgery room littered with bloodied towels from the previous operation while the woman lay on a rubber mat casually placed over a bloodied table, also from the previous operation.

I've been asked to give a series of lectures next week on HIV/AIDS. I know very little on this topic but will read up on it this week/weekend. HIV in this country is of course prevalent -- known statistics place it between 7.5 - 11% (of course the rates are much higher in the urban areas). Interestingly there are plenty of anti-retro viral drugs thanks to George Bush and his commitment to assisting the situation here in Africa (probably the only time I'll ever say something nice about W) but these drugs require that people go to the hospital monthly for treatment, and many cannot afford the bus fare. There is still a stigma of HIV but thankfully it is lessening -- I suppose by this point so many people have it to stigmatize and discriminate is to do so to your own family members / friends. However, many people still refuse to get tested, believing it is better not to know.

The social interaction of the volunteers is interesting to me. We stay in a guarded compound with an 11pm curfew and eat all our meals together. Of course the group has divided rather predictably into their own cliques. Everyone seems quite devoted to their volunteer efforts but the younger ones of course have banded together in a fraternity-like clique (19-22 years) with all of the requisite behaviors and annoying attitudes that go along with such things. There is a modicum of drama, but all in all its a good group of people. Thankfully the girls in my room are amazing, and we all get along really well.

My school is awesome! I've added to my duties teaching the nursery school as well (which, since they are ages 4-6 is really serving as kindergarten) since there are no volunteers there and they were essentially being babysat by one of the girls in the secondary school. I couldn't stand to see the way they were deteriorating so I'll jump in as much as possible. The education system in this country is deplorable. Everything is taught by rote memorization and recitation, there is absolutely no emphasis on critical thinking, problem solving, creative thought, etc... Here is an example: If you point to numbers 1-10 and ask them to count consecutively they can. But if you point to the number 3 they have absolutely no idea what it is, neither in Swahili nor English. I've been trying to teach them "He's Got the Whole World in His Hands" for four days now (not the whole song, just verse one with those 8 words), and they still can barely get it. They do know a few songs, "Hokey Pokey" and "Elephant..." but they have been forced to sing these songs so many times per day that they sound like Stepford children when they recite it. They adopt this robotic, brainwashed tone that totally freaks me out. I refuse to let them sing those songs. We're actually doing better with the singing... I've got them doing the alphabet song (with the Electric company numbers song as a tag at the end), and a traditional Swahili song "Hujambo bwana" which I love. Next week I'll attempt to teach another song, probably "I've Got Peace Like a River." But these kids have been neglected for so long that they can hardly learn new concepts. Americans are obsessed with reading to their kids, Babies for Mozart, play blocks, intellectually stimulating toys, etc... These kids walk to and from school through the cornfields by themselves (at age 4), play in the dirt and rubbish pile on the side of the school, and have a different volunteer teacher standing in front of them every month. Nutrition consists of ugali (corn, flour and water) and maybe a little bit of vegetables. so you can see how their neurological development is of course stunted.

But I love them. I love hugging them (my motto is to give as many hugs as possible each day), I love tickling them and playing soccer with them, I love seeing them smile, I love holding them when they cry. I love them so much, and when I look into their eyes and know that in a month or so I am going to be back in America and they will probably be in the same shitty life situation (or worse) forever, I feel my stomach turn. So I hug them every morning before school begins and every afternoon when school ends. They hug me back so tightly, they never seem to want to let go.

I would like to return here next summer. Of course a part of me wants to volunteer in India, Thailand, Brazil, oh all those wonderful and exotic places one can volunteer and change the world while having a great vacation... But I don't want to be one of those people. I have made a connection here, I have friends, and I want to take everything I have learned this summer and return next summer so I can be a better volunteer, a more efficient volunteer, and see through on my commitment to helping the kids of this country. The cost will be much less as well -- I have connections and have already been offered a place to live, so my expenses will primarily be airfare and living. CCS was great for the first time, I have learned so much about this country and the language through them (and in honesty would probably never have made it here without them), but now that I understand how things work I'll do it on my own next time. We'll see how things progress this year...

I do love it here!! Amidst the tragedy and poverty there is a great spiritual essence. The culture, the people, the natural beauty... I went on safari last weekend and was completely overwhelmed by it. The animals!!!! I probably saw thousands of zebras, hundreds of elephants (including a herd that graciously walked just next to our car), lots of giraffes, and even a male lion eating his dinner right in front of us! God made this place and these people too, but man and especially the West has certainly helped fuck it up.

I have so much more to say, but I also have better things to do than sit in an internet cafe all afternoon. I'll probably journal my thoughts more and then transfer them to this blog later, though I promise to try to get back here next week and write more!!!

Thanks again for all your prayers and well wishes, I certainly feel them over here!!!

Salama.