TONS OF HUGS

Wow, I just realized that my post WAS saved, so here it is (pardon me for any repetition...)

That is my daily motto. I am totally exhausted writing this so pardon any rambling thoughts. This place is intense -- after my initial elation at being here and "doing" good I have settled into somewhat of a sense of resignation.... I dare not say the word futile, for our efforts here ARE making a difference and we ARE affecting peoples lives, but in the end 98% of the volunteers leave and Africa is still here. What is the answer? On Friday I looked into the eyes of my kids and wanted to cry. They are so eager for love, acceptance, knowledge, respect, truth, and they LOVE hugs. I've made it my point to hug every student of mine in the morning when they arrive and at the end of the day when I leave. I also give tons of hugs in between, back rubs, smiles, winks, and as much love as I can possibly send out to them. In the US this would be considered molestation, in Africa this is as desperately needed as food and shelter.

The horrific stories have started to appear amongst my circle of friends here. A couple of volunteers went to the hospital to observe a surgery on Friday, a surgery with only a little local anesthesia and no general. The women was having a procedure done to her uterus and was wide awake. Screaming in terror, she was slapped repeatedly by the nurse and told to shut up while she lay on a rubber mat, placed casually over the bloodied surgical table of the previous patient. My friends stood in the surgery room next to this patient in their street clothes and certainly did not scrub up or wear masks. The floor was littered with bloodied surgical items from the previous patient.

I will make a point of going to the hospital next week to visit the kids in the burn ward. I want to see all of Africa. In honesty there is a sense of romanticism when one decided to go to volunteer in Africa for the first time, this feeling that you are doing something noble for mankind. Then you get here and see the reality of things and that romanticism leaves very quickly, let me tell you.

On a happier note, I went on safari this weekend and probably had one of the greatest experiences of my life. We camped in the nights and went to Ngorongoro Crater on Saturday and Taryngire (sp?) on Sunday. If I tell you that I saw thousands of zebra I might not be exaggerating. Herds of elephants, beautiful giraffe and the best part: a male lion casually strolled past our vehicle, chased off a hyeina and proceeded to eat his dinner there in front of us. I have a video... this blew all of our minds, even our guides, who only see such a thing once or twice a year.

Sunday morning we went to a Masaai village to learn about their culture. The Masaai are one of the last pastoral cultures left in the world: they herd cattle around the land looking for drinking areas in the dry season. They worship the cattle and are seen everywhere in this part of the country devotedly herding their charges. They have the most beautiful clothing and jewlery, and are absolutely stunning as a people, but the Masaai village was also startling to me.... the cattle are kept in a pen in the middle of the village (the huts surround this). Consequently there is cow dung right in their living quarters and the entire area is infested with flies. I saw a baby with 20 flies crawling all over his face, in his eyes and out of his mouth. TIA. Following our lesson in traditional Masaai dance and music (and those women are AMAZING singers) we were herded to tables and urged to buy jewlery. Masaai also sometimes hustle mzungu for pictures, 10,000 tsh for one photo with them (about 8 US dollars). The hustling really disturbed me -- here is a beautiful, majestic culture reduced to harassing white tourists in order to survive. I started a conversation with our guide about this, I hope to continue it soon when I see him again. This continent is so incredibly complex, just as our world is so incredibly complex... it blows my mind, but I am also so happy to be here.

On that note, I have already decided to return here next summer. So many mzungu leave, never to return. They do their token volunteer efforts, they experience the culture, climb Kili, go on safari, etc. and then they are off to the next exciting volunteer adventure: Brazil, Costa Rica, Thailand,