Moshi vs. Tokyo

So I've been in Tokyo for the last few days. My friend Kim (who works for the Department of Defense) had an unexpected trip here during my stay with her in Seoul so I decided to tag along (free hotel in one of the most expensive cities in the world, I'll take it!). Tokyo is cool -- exciting, full of style and funkiness, great architecture, amazing culture... but I'll take Moshi over this any day. We are staying in a military hotel so there is a lot of American restaurants, etc. here. This morning I went to the American buffet for breakfast and had an omlette made for me. It was a bit undercooked so I went back up to the omlette bar and asked the guy to cook it a little more for me. Instead he threw it away and started making me a new one. I almost punched him in the face! I was quite upset but by that time the omlette was already in the garbage and after protesting vehemently to him and lecturing him about wasting food I just gave up. I went back to my table with my new omlette quite depressed - my kids in Moshi eat maybe 1-2 meals a day of ugali (flour and water) and people in first world countries throw food away because it isn't cooked to their liking.

Its all starting to hit me. I left Africa but was still traveling, and to be quite frank I haven't had much time to think about things. It's all been a bit of sensory overload, especially since this is my first time in Asia, my first time meeting my new 'niece' Rachel (who is absolutely precious and adorable by the way), my first time really getting to know Emily (Kim's 3 1/2 year old daughter), seeing Kim for the first time in several years, etc... All that I have seen, all that I have experienced in the past 2 1/2 months is still very much in the frontal lobe, and I have not had the opportunity to process / reflect upon it. I am going to need some serious alone time when I get back to the states, but of course I am starting to teach the day after I return! My mom thinks I am crazy but my students have been wonderfully patient and supportive of my travels throughout the year (not just this trip but the many trips I have taken to perform around the US and Canada) and I don't want to deprive them of music lessons any more then I have to. I also desperately need the money - this trip cost waaaay more then I anticipated, mostly because I tacked on an extra two weeks in Africa (and the cost of all those changed plane tickets - *sigh*), and then an extra two weeks in Seoul and Tokyo. I have zero regrets, but I do need to hustle and work hard this year, especially since I am for sure going back to Africa next summer.

So how do I feel? I miss Moshi, I miss the friends I made there, I miss the simplicity of life, I miss walking 20 minutes to the internet cafe, I miss the peacefulness, I miss the rhythmic bird call, I miss talking to Maya, Sophie and Ange, I miss the million texts I got a day there (Africans LOOOOVE to text), I miss the beautiful sunshine, I miss Konyagi, I miss Mzungu Bar, I miss Glacier (another bar with awesome live music on Fridays), I miss Dismus, I miss my boy, I miss feeling and knowing that I was making a huge difference in kids lives. Heck, I even miss the roosters, even though they drove me nuts for the first couple of weeks.

It's hard to go back to 'the real world', to these lives that we carve out for ourselves with all the superficial worrys and trappings of first-world Westernized society: do my jeans look good? what am I going to do on Friday night? are my thighs fat? what do I want for myself? I I I, me me me ... I talk to friends back home, and its always me me me, I I I .... I hate those two fucking pronouns.

Well, everyone told me this would be a life-changing experience, and it certainly has. I'll tell you one thing: being in Africa 6 weeks has pretty much cured 20 years of distored body image / eating issues... What really matters in life, what is important? My view on those questions is forever changed.

So yes, I am nervous to go back, but not terribly so. Take each day as it comes, enjoy the bountiful (and I mean BOUNTIFUL) gifts anyone reading this blog has been blessed with, appreciate and love that which is in front of us, lead a quieter, more simple life, take the I out of life and think first of others less fortunate, and get back to Africa as soon as possible!

Thanks for reading this blog. I'll continue to write here when I get back to the states -- I plan to do a lot of research on African history/politics/culture and will post my thoughts and findings here for anyone interested. If I don't call you right away, its only because I am overloaded with thoughts / feelings coupled with intense culture shock and jet-lag probably (especially since I start working 24 hours after I land at Newark airport).

I love you all. Live in peace and appreciation for all you have. The next time you take a hot shower, use a microwave, buy cheap food at the grocery store, buy cheap clothes at the mall, go drinking with your friends, watch TV, take antibiotics, just remember... there are a billion people who live on less than $1 a day. Think of that and give thanks to the universe that you were born at the longitude/latitude you were, because in the end, whether we live an easy life or an incredibly hard life is really a random happenstance of what GPS location we were born in.