Truth, lies and musique...

As some of you know, I have seen a much darker side of Tanzania and dealings in third world countries these past few weeks.  Without going into too many details (as this is a public forum), I'll just let it be known (and have already stated) that this 'business' of volunteering and flooding Africa with volunteers, donations and aid is certainly a murky world.  I can see why those in the West become cynical and fed up when dealing with third world nations -- it is certainly easy to have this happen.  Indeed I found myself questioning all of the time and energy I am putting into my projects over there, feeling a sense of futility for all my emotional and physical efforts... However, I tread on that path for only a short while, and have shaken off the dust and am more determined then ever to continue my efforts to help the impoverished people of the world.

Far from feeling fed up (although I must admit to a touch of cynicism), I am mostly thirsty for knowledge.  With the full understanding that I am a 'newbie' at this, I've dedicated myself to learning as much as possible about Africa and the developing world before I go back there again.  In my new found zeal, I've managed to knock off four books in a week =)

"The End of Poverty" --  Jeffrey Sachs
"Unbowed" -- Wangari Maathai
"The Challenge for Africa" -- Wangari Maathi
"Half the Sky: Turning Oppression into Opportunity Worldwide" -- Nicholas D. Kristof and Sheryl WuDunn

At least the naivete has worn off.  Now the real work can begin. 
 
"Perseverance... keeps honor bright:  to have done, is to hang quite out of fashion, like a rusty nail in monumental mockery."  ~William Shakespeare


A quote from "Half the Sky" [I STRONGLY recommend this book be read. It is poignant and at times horrifying, but alongside the telling of the horrific oppression and violence that women in the developing world face on a daily basis, there are remarkable tales of courage and heroism that will (hopefully) inspire the Western world to sit up, take NOTICE, and take ACTION!]

"To tackle an issue effectively, you need to understand it –- and it's impossible to understand an issue simply by reading about it. You need to see it first hand, even live in its midst. One of the great failings of the American education system... is that young people can graduate from university without any understanding of poverty at home or abroad. Study-abroad programs tend to consist of herds of students visiting Oxford or Florence or Paris. We believe that universities should make it a requirement that all graduates spend at least some time in the developing world, either by taking a "gap year" or by studying abroad. If more Americans worked for a summer teaching English at a school... in Pakistan, or working in a hospital like HEAL Africa in the Congo, our entire society would have a richer understanding of the world around us. And the rest of the world might also hold a more positive view of Americans."

http://www.amazon.com/Half-Sky-Oppression-Opportunity-Worldwide/dp/0307267148


And to give voice to my latest concern... How can I balance teaching, singing, research, writing, volunteer work AND delve into my long-held dream of producing and writing music?  I wish I stuck with music tech when I first started it 16 years ago at NYU (instead I got swept into classical music and haven't had a moment to breathe from that lifestyle until my self-imposed one right now)...

"Don't let the fear of the time it will take to accomplish something stand in the way of your doing it.  The time will pass anyway; we might just as well put that passing time to the best possible use."  ~Earl Nightingale

Time to kick the funk!

I've been back in the States for less then two weeks, and it's been pretty rough, I'll tell you.  First I was completely overwhelmed by the material excess of American society, then I got sucked into worrying about my career/future (damn those October application deadlines!).  After stressing hard for the past week I've decided to forgo these applications for yet another year, and instead concentrate my efforts on Tanzania projects and making music.  These are the only two things that really speak to me anyways...  sometimes it is hard to discern the difference between things we think we should do and things our heart truly wants to do.

The response to this blog has been amazing, thank you so much for reading it!  I've tried my best to be candid, and the process of explaining my experiences has been extremely cathartic.

I am now actively searching for a web designer for Wheels of Action and The Orphan Games.  If you or anyone you know is interested, please don't hesitate to contact me:  julieanneklein@gmail.com

Nakupenda marafiki!

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[email I just sent out to friends and acquaintances]

Hello friends!

As some of you know, I spent this past summer in Tanzania, Africa volunteering.  I worked on several projects, including teaching in an informal school (a community school for kids that cannot afford the fees for government school), working in a center for street-kids (orphans and homeless youth), and giving lectures in the community on HIV awareness.  There are many wonderful humanitarian efforts in Tanzania, and I feel blessed to have the opportunity to spend my time helping such wonderful people.

One of the organizations I was fortunate to come across is Wheels of Action, a Danish NGO run by Javier Colon, an incredible person and now a wonderful friend of mine.  Wheels of Action is sponsoring an event called The Orphan Games  -- these are Olympic-styled sporting events specifically for orphans held in Arusha (November 28, 2009) and Dar es Salaam (December 12, 2009).  Javier has created a fantastic network of support.  The Games are financially supported by Vodacom (the leading mobile company in Tanzania) and the American Embassy.   He has partnered with The Orphans Foundation Fund and has even enlisted the help of several Cuban Olympic coaches who have agreed to help coach the kids in preparation for the events.

What we need is a web-designer who would be interested in revamping the Wheels of Action website and creating a website specifically for the Orphan Games events.  Wheels of Action already owns the domain names and I will take care of writing the content (text), but it would be great to have a really snazzy website to accompany such an awesome project.

If you (or anyone you know) is interested, please contact me.  I know how busy everyone is, that we are all concerned with our personal careers, relationships, lives, etc... I could design the website myself (albeit very simply), but the kids of this country are amazing, and they deserve the best I can offer =)

Please spread the word!! 

Asante sana!  Nakupenda marafiki!

Julieanne =)


http://www.wheelsofaction.org/projects/the-orphan-games.html

http://www.orphansfoundationfund.org/stories/259

The Orphan Games

I am proudly the official editor/writer for a great project in Tanzania, The Orphan Games.  I met Javier (the founder of Wheels of Action, an NGO based out of Denmark) in Moshi, and am enthusiastically supporting the awesome work he is doing in Tanzania.  Read more about The Orphan Games here:

http://www.wheelsofaction.org/projects/the-orphan-games.html

Facebook (search 'The Orphan Games')

I have been commissioned to write an article defending the use of the word "orphan" in the title of this project (certain sponsors prefer the term 'vulnerable children').  The following is what I have created thus far. Feel free to comment and add suggestions!

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Empowering Orphans: The Need for Candor

A beautiful trend is emerging in the West. More and more citizens of first-world nations are reaching out with hearts, minds and hands to Africa, assisting underprivileged communities with initiatives such as microfinancing, mosquito net donations, HIV awareness and free ARV (antiretroviral) provisions.  Tragedy and suffering in Africa has long been recognized, but at last it seems the world is finally willing to work together to help this struggling continent achieve the humanitarian assistance it rightly deserves.  Each NGO has its own mission: education, women’s empowerment, health care, environmental protection, care for orphans…  A powerful web of support is being weaved – the combined energy of individual volunteerism and government assistance is creating a collective awareness of the issues at hand, while providing the means for ordinary individuals to proactively address these issues.

The Orphan Games project was established as a means of gathering, inspiring and empowering orphans and underprivileged youth through athletic activities. Using competitive sports as a platform, the Orphan Games events in Arusha and Dar es Salaam hope to provide a sense of belonging within the orphan community, promote healthy lifestyle habits, encourage self-respect and respect of others, and facilitate the development of lasting friendships. According to the 2007 statistics compiled by UNICEF (The United Nations Children’s Fund), Tanzania has 2.6 million orphans – 970,000 of these children have been left parentless from the AIDS epidemic.[1]  Among the many issues facing impoverished nations, the suffering of parentless children ranks among the most heartrending.  Wheels of Action is committed to helping alleviate that suffering by giving orphans the opportunity to experience joy, sportsmanship and a sense of personal achievement.  These elements are invaluable in giving underprivileged kids something that is essential to their survival: a sense of hope.

At first glance, the title “Orphan Games” might be seen as stigmatizing, but it is our opinion that the word orphan presents the most accurate and sensitive description of these youth. In a world filled with social inequality, marginalized groups are often viewed and referred to in a derogatory and/or unfavorable manner.  This is the basis of stereotypes – an oversimplification of characteristics of a group or class of people, often carrying negative undertones and painting inaccuracies with an unflattering brush. “The effects of stereotyping can fluctuate, but for the most part they are negative, and not always apparent until long periods of time have passed. Over time, some victims of negative stereotypes display self-fulfilling prophecy behavior, in which they assume that the stereotype represents norms to emulate. Negative effects may include forming inaccurate opinions of people, scapegoating, erroneously judgmentalism, preventing emotional identification, distress, and impaired performance. Stereotyping painfully reminds those being judged of how society views them.”

The opposite extreme is the lingo of ‘politically correct’ expressions, words that tread so carefully in communicating meaning that the truth is often blurred and obscured.  Used with the intention of minimizing offense to a particular social group, the appropriate nature of the selected terminology is ambiguous, because the selection of such terms is in and of itself subjective.

When referring to marginalized, disadvantaged groups such as orphans, what is needed is an objective, factual reference to these children.  If we call them ‘vulnerable children’, defined by Merriam-Webster Dictionary as “capable of being physically or emotionally wounded; open to attack or damage,” we risk presenting a generalized and quite negative opinion of a large group of children, portraying them as weak, frail and debilitated.  Certainly some orphans are vulnerable, but to declare the entire subset of children ‘open to attack or damage’ supports an unfavorable and pessimistic stereotype that is difficult for these children to overcome.  Instead, by addressing these children as orphans, defined by Merriam-Webster Dictionary as “a child deprived by death of one or usually both parents; one deprived of some protection or advantage,” we categorize this group accurately, factually and objectively.

Orphaned children are greatly disadvantaged; the difficulties orphaned youth will face in their lives are inarguable.  Rather than further contribute to the misunderstanding, isolation and social discrimination they will undoubtedly face, volunteer organizations and individuals committed to bettering their lives must begin by accurately and impartially identifying the circumstances of those lives – this begins with the terminology we use in reference to them.  The name “orphan” is not derogatory; it is a legitimate, veritable description of their social status. In a life filled with loss, uncertainty and misfortune, these kids deserve respect and validity – this can only begin by identifying and embracing the position that they have unwittingly and tragically found themselves in.


Mtoto umleavyo ndivyo akuavyo.

[the way you raise a child is what he/she will grow to be].
–Swahilli proverb

My kids (more to come soon...)!

Pics at last!

What does it mean to volunteer...?

Now that I am back in the states, I have had some time to think and process (albeit not too much)... I was talking with someone last night about some situations I found myself in while I was in Tanzania, situations way out of my realm of experience and understanding. He was commenting/criticizing the way that I acted... rash, impulsive (seemingly), hot-headed, 'American', naive, etc... And I must admit these words ring true, and I have chastised myself for some of my behaviors as well. BUT, I was in a serious situation with little-to-no support or trusted guidance, so I acted from my heart (perhaps not always the best thing since I tend to be quite emotion driven).

Was I naive? AM I naive? Yes, certainly. All people who volunteer with such vacation-volunteer programs as CCS are INCREDIBLY naive. They travel halfway across the world thinking they will make a difference, yet with little to no understanding of the culture (and sub-culture), society and structure, what lasting impact are they really having? Tanzania is an incredibly complex place, as are all third-world nations I am sure. There are levels of corruption and dealings that are such an intricate part of the society that perhaps it would fall apart without such things. So the volunteer from the nice, middle-class family spends a lot of money to travel halfway around the world, puts in a few hours a morning making kids lives fun, goes on safari, plays cards with friends, and calls it a grand humanitarian effort in their life (and on their CV). Is this volunteering? Is this bettering the lives of disadvantaged peoples? It seems the 'volunteers' get more out of the experience then the Africans.

I had read about such cynicism online before I left for my trip, but already committed to CCS (with its non-refundable policies), I decided to just go with it. And I still am happy I did. It got me to Tanzania by myself, something I'm not sure would have happened otherwise. And my experience in TZ was quite unique -- I can say with full honesty that I worked my ass off there, going to morning placement, afternoon placement, and a lot of extra work on top of that. Yes I partied at night, but I gave the people placed in my path every ounce of energy I could possibly muster (as did Sophia, Andrew, Julia, and a few other volunteers who really were committed to making a difference)...

And now...? It is time to really begin volunteering my time, energy, efforts, heart, and money. Now I have a grasp of the culture, the workings of the country, the language (and am committed to mastering Swahilli by the time I return in June)... What does it mean to volunteer? It means to care for your project as you would care for your child, giving it all the energy and devotion you can possibly muster. Someone I work with lived in an orphanage in TZ for 1 1/2 YEARS... now that is making a difference. I will be working on various projects (The Orphan Games) throughout this year, and then will return in June for 3 months. In the meantime I plan to read every book on Africa that I can get my hands on. It's a start, its a committment from my heart. I genuinely WANT to make a difference, and that will take a lot more effort then the 6 weeks I have put in this past summer.

I guess I am annoyed by the perceived 'goodness' of people who choose to do these programs. "Oh, you braved the dangers of Africa to go help poverty-stricken kids, you MUST be a good person..." It's a farce really-- anyone with enough money can make themselves look noble and valient.

Sorry for the negativity. I'm going to figure out how to put pictures up today so you can finally see my life for the past few months =)

Moshi vs. Tokyo

So I've been in Tokyo for the last few days. My friend Kim (who works for the Department of Defense) had an unexpected trip here during my stay with her in Seoul so I decided to tag along (free hotel in one of the most expensive cities in the world, I'll take it!). Tokyo is cool -- exciting, full of style and funkiness, great architecture, amazing culture... but I'll take Moshi over this any day. We are staying in a military hotel so there is a lot of American restaurants, etc. here. This morning I went to the American buffet for breakfast and had an omlette made for me. It was a bit undercooked so I went back up to the omlette bar and asked the guy to cook it a little more for me. Instead he threw it away and started making me a new one. I almost punched him in the face! I was quite upset but by that time the omlette was already in the garbage and after protesting vehemently to him and lecturing him about wasting food I just gave up. I went back to my table with my new omlette quite depressed - my kids in Moshi eat maybe 1-2 meals a day of ugali (flour and water) and people in first world countries throw food away because it isn't cooked to their liking.

Its all starting to hit me. I left Africa but was still traveling, and to be quite frank I haven't had much time to think about things. It's all been a bit of sensory overload, especially since this is my first time in Asia, my first time meeting my new 'niece' Rachel (who is absolutely precious and adorable by the way), my first time really getting to know Emily (Kim's 3 1/2 year old daughter), seeing Kim for the first time in several years, etc... All that I have seen, all that I have experienced in the past 2 1/2 months is still very much in the frontal lobe, and I have not had the opportunity to process / reflect upon it. I am going to need some serious alone time when I get back to the states, but of course I am starting to teach the day after I return! My mom thinks I am crazy but my students have been wonderfully patient and supportive of my travels throughout the year (not just this trip but the many trips I have taken to perform around the US and Canada) and I don't want to deprive them of music lessons any more then I have to. I also desperately need the money - this trip cost waaaay more then I anticipated, mostly because I tacked on an extra two weeks in Africa (and the cost of all those changed plane tickets - *sigh*), and then an extra two weeks in Seoul and Tokyo. I have zero regrets, but I do need to hustle and work hard this year, especially since I am for sure going back to Africa next summer.

So how do I feel? I miss Moshi, I miss the friends I made there, I miss the simplicity of life, I miss walking 20 minutes to the internet cafe, I miss the peacefulness, I miss the rhythmic bird call, I miss talking to Maya, Sophie and Ange, I miss the million texts I got a day there (Africans LOOOOVE to text), I miss the beautiful sunshine, I miss Konyagi, I miss Mzungu Bar, I miss Glacier (another bar with awesome live music on Fridays), I miss Dismus, I miss my boy, I miss feeling and knowing that I was making a huge difference in kids lives. Heck, I even miss the roosters, even though they drove me nuts for the first couple of weeks.

It's hard to go back to 'the real world', to these lives that we carve out for ourselves with all the superficial worrys and trappings of first-world Westernized society: do my jeans look good? what am I going to do on Friday night? are my thighs fat? what do I want for myself? I I I, me me me ... I talk to friends back home, and its always me me me, I I I .... I hate those two fucking pronouns.

Well, everyone told me this would be a life-changing experience, and it certainly has. I'll tell you one thing: being in Africa 6 weeks has pretty much cured 20 years of distored body image / eating issues... What really matters in life, what is important? My view on those questions is forever changed.

So yes, I am nervous to go back, but not terribly so. Take each day as it comes, enjoy the bountiful (and I mean BOUNTIFUL) gifts anyone reading this blog has been blessed with, appreciate and love that which is in front of us, lead a quieter, more simple life, take the I out of life and think first of others less fortunate, and get back to Africa as soon as possible!

Thanks for reading this blog. I'll continue to write here when I get back to the states -- I plan to do a lot of research on African history/politics/culture and will post my thoughts and findings here for anyone interested. If I don't call you right away, its only because I am overloaded with thoughts / feelings coupled with intense culture shock and jet-lag probably (especially since I start working 24 hours after I land at Newark airport).

I love you all. Live in peace and appreciation for all you have. The next time you take a hot shower, use a microwave, buy cheap food at the grocery store, buy cheap clothes at the mall, go drinking with your friends, watch TV, take antibiotics, just remember... there are a billion people who live on less than $1 a day. Think of that and give thanks to the universe that you were born at the longitude/latitude you were, because in the end, whether we live an easy life or an incredibly hard life is really a random happenstance of what GPS location we were born in.

Back in the sort of real world...

Day #2 in Amsterdam is slightly less spacy then day #1, though I miss the quietness of Moshi terribly. Being in Africa has certainly realigned what is important to me, what matters to me. Now living and "making it" in a huge city like New York or Berlin seems completely trivial. There is certainly something nice about waking up with roosters crowing, walking down the street with goats and chickens and spending you afternoon drinking a soda and talking with friends at Mzungu bar.

I received an email from an old student today, and he told me that after spending months/years of his life working for a start up company 70-80 hours/week, he is finally realizing that there is more to life then work, and is downsizing his work week to 40 hours. Imagine that! There is more to life then work??? I myself have seen the truth in that this summer. Of course we must earn enough to live and survive, but if the days and weeks pass by unnoticed and we fail to live and cherish our lives, won't our spirit suffer untold consequences? I can answer that with a resounding YES. I feel like my spirit has been smothered and was dying a slow death ever since I started my doctorate degree in 2003 (talk about being obsessed with one's work). And now...? Let's say my attitude on career and other things is changing. I am still waiting to see where these new thoughts lead, but I am leaving my mind and spirit open to new possibility.

Culture shock is an understatement

Sorry my posts have been sparse lately. The internet connections in TZ are extremely slow, and after braving the slow, dull trudgery through gmail and blogger one too many times, I gave up on the internet all-together. Quite liberating actually!

Here I am back in Amsterdam. To state that I might have culture shock is definitely an understatement... I found myself wandering slowly through the sheets, noticing everyone's clothing. A pair of nice jeans could feed the family of one of my kids for a year.

So much has happened, some of it which cannot be put on a public blog ;=) Where to begin?

I guess I'll begin with how I feel today. My mind is awash with memories, sensations, and favorite moments. To say the past 6 weeks have been some of the greatest of my life is quite true. In those weeks I have met so many remarkable people, filled with fun, love, joy, honesty and fun. Characters in a chapter of my life that I will never forget.

The last few days of my time in Tanzania were incredibly difficult. Saying goodbye to my nboy was heartbreaking. He feels like my son, I will think of him and worry about him every day. On my last Saturday there I went to the street kids center. I wanted to let them know I was leaving, but would be back next year. When I got there, I looked specifically for Yusef, one of my favorites. We have had a special relationship since the beginning. But after my boy was diagnosed with HIV, I wasn't spending enough time with Yusef and he got very hurt and angry with me. After two days of pulling away from me, I finally sat him down and looked in his eyes, saying "mimi rafiki"(I am a friend). After a long gaze into my eyes, he finally nodded and hugged me.

When I asked about Yusef at the center on Saturday, I learned he was sick with malaria. When I went into the boys bedroom, and I was struck by how lonely and sad he looked. Malaria leaves one feeling extremely weak, lethargic, achy and feverish. And I thought back to when I was a kid, my mom would sit with me and rub my back, and there was no one in this place to rub Yusef's back. So I sat with him for the next 30 minutes, rubbing his back. At the end, I kissed him on the cheek and said "Kwahere. I go Marekani"" (Goodbye, I am going to America). He looked at me with the saddest eyes and just nodded. It was so hard for me to walk away. How many volunteers does he form a special bond with, just to have them constantly walking out of his life.

Outside, I said goodbye to all the other kids and left with my boy. We walked back to CCS, and hung out taking pictures and being goofy. He looked me in the eye and said "God bless you Julieanne". Because of me he has a chance at a better life, and a longer life. I was actually able to change someone's life for the better, and not just anyone, but a boy who I love with all my heart. I can't wait to see him next June!

My last day was pretty special, thanks to Maya and Rasheed (not sure if I have mentioned her yet, but Maya is the roommate that moved in after Sophia sadly left. Maya and I formed a great bond, and are planning to come back to Africa together next summer). RASHEED! The uniquest of human beings =) It is funny how certain moments in life surprise and delight you unexpectedly".

There are a few people I have met on this trip that I know will be in my life for a long time, and I am grateful for the opportunity to have met them.

Yes, I am sad to leave Moshi, very sad. I am exhausted yet renergized by all I have experienced these past 6 weeks. I would probably need 10 hours of non-stop writing just to recount it all.

A quickie...

Sorry for the lack of writing peeps, I know you all are very interested in my travels. I am still in Tanzania, and will be flying to Seoul, Korea on Sunday to see Kimmie! Soooo excited for this!
Friday I am taking my boy to the hospital to get his test results, T cell count, etc. This will be the last time I see him until next summer, and I am very sad for that. Saying goodbye finally will be very hard. I already said goodbye to one of my closest friends here, Dismus. If you're reading this I am thinking of you and miss you!!! You too Sophia!!! And Josh!!! And Kristin!!! And Harvey!!!
Too many goodbyes, and this Sunday will be the saddest of all.

On a happy note, I was taken on an amazing motorcycle ride today through the countryside. This was a belated present from another friend of mine, who has promised me another ride on Friday.
Can't wait!

A note on pictures: the internet is terribly slow here, dial up speed or worse! Pics will have to wait until some downtime in Korea, but fear not, I have over 1500 so far, and still another continent to go!!

Nakupenda rafiki!

A deeper side of things...

It is August 26, my birthday! I was supposed to be in Korea eating Korean BBQ on this day, but instead I am still in Tanzania. [I have edited the original post here in order to protect the privacy of individuals back in TZ. Suffice to say, many things happened during my last days in TZ, and at the last minute I decided to stay in the country to assist in whatever way I could]...

Friends, I cannot even relate to you the emotions and feelings I have endured during my time here. My "problems" are completely inconsequential compared to the struggles people here have to endure. I know I have changed immensely, and I am grateful for that, but my fear is that when I return to America I will not be the same person, the same friend, the same teacher. Life in America is so easy. After one has lived here, even for 6 weeks (as I will have), nothing in the world can ever look the same again.

Only a few days left...

Only a few days until I depart. I can hardly believe how fast the time has gone! My heart aches every time I think of leaving -- you don't know how many times I have almost changed my ticket but it is just so not practical. I would lose so much money in change fees, OR have to blow off my friend in Korea (which I definitely do not want to do), or come home at the end of September, which would mean about $2500 of lost revenue from not teaching. I am telling myself that the money I am saving will be better spent coming back here next year, when I am more well versed in Swahili and have studied the country more in depth. I want to stay with all my heart, but that $2500 is another plane ticket, so its time to be practical.

This morning in the nursery school I was holding Aziza, one of my favorites (because she is so quiet and withdrawn, I always make sure to give her a little extra love), and I burst into tears. But, since I will see a friend later I put on some makeup, so then of course there was mascara and eyeliner running down my face. One of the sewing girls cracked up laughing, and later Mama Fortunata said that she was saying, "Mzungu cries black tears!!!" We all started laughing at that one...!

Today has been pretty awesome so far. I took 5 of the sewing / vocational girls to Mwenzi Hospital (the government hospital) to get their HIV tests and all came out negative, including me! We then went out to a cafe and drank sodas and ate donuts, and then they go to skip the rest of the day of school, hahaha. Tomorrow I will give my HIV lecture to the Kilimahewa secondary school after the recess break. I won't have the opportunity to take them to Mwenzi but at least I'll give them the talk and the sewing girls can be there as a resource (i.e. it's easy!) The doctors at Mwenzi in the HIV / AIDS clinic seem very loving and caring, which is a relief.

This afternoon I will go to Msanmaria, the home for streetkids. All have been abandoned by their parents or have no parents (usually dead from HIV). Some have been forced to do horrible things to survive. The workers of this place drive around Moshi at night looking for homeless kids sleeping on the street and pick them up and take them back here. At Msanmaria they are given a safe place to live, a bed and several meals per day. Each child awaits sponsorship so they can go to school, but Msanmaria has a rather proactive campaign to raise money for these kids. They are amazing kids, so caring and protective of each other. This was a special placement for my roommate Sophia (sadly she has left and is back in Seattle), so I am going to make sure to go there every day until I leave on Saturday (I've already been several times and absolutely adore the kids).

I cannot wait to come back to Tanzania. I have made so many good friends in this country, friends that are as true and close to me in one month of living as friends that I have know for a year or more. This is such a special place, and I know I will be counting the days until I finally step off the plane in Tanzania once more. Yes there is tragedy and poverty, but the amount of love and kindness that exists in this country is exponentially more than anything I have ever experienced in my entire life.

Positively positive....

I realize some of my previous posts have been rather grim -- this is me trying to convey all of the elements here, but I must also emphatically state that not all is primitive and tragic here. I have met MANY well-educated Tanzanians who love and their country and are dedicated to the betterment of it. Within CCS, each placement has a local volunteer, a native of Tanzania (usually the Moshi/Kilimanjaro region) who volunteers at the placement to assist with translation, teaching, organization, etc. These local volunteers are not paid, they certainly could be spending these hours making money, yet each is completely dedicated to the betterment of their community and their people.

The HIV lectures have been going well. We are going around to several government schools (i.e. public schools) and giving lectures on HIV awareness: what it is, how to prevent it, and what to do if you or someone you know has it. These kids are grateful for the information, but somehowI feel we are missing the mark. What we REALLY need to do is go into the rural communities where they have NO idea what HIV/AIDS is, and belive that it is witchcraft, a curse from God, and/or nothing more than a bad flu. There are many untruths floating around Africa about HIV, often perpetuated by the medicine doctors or corrupt govenments [for example, in South Africa there is a myth told by the medicine doctors that if you have sex with a virgin you can cure yourself of AIDS, obviously leading to MANY rapes in that country].

The longer I am here the longer I want to be here. I don't have any grand illusions of saving the world or saving the continent (or this country), but I'd rather be here trying to help than not, so to that end I have committed my heart to coming back here next summer for 2-3 months. I probably won't return to Moshi -- this town is flooded with volunteers, and it is quite well off as far as Tanzania goes. I'd much rather travel in the more rural areas doing HIV awareness workshops and such, in addition to teaching. I went to Zanzibar last weekend and was absolutely blown away by the breathless beauty of the Indian Ocean. Though the coast of Zanzibar obviously is filled with resorts and touristy things, the inner part of the island is one big slum. There are two other islands off the coast of Tanzania, Mafia Island and Pemba Island. Both are extremely rural with little to call paved roads and electricity, and most of the inhabitants are illiterate, living on less than $1 a day. I would probably go to one of those islands for a portion of my stay here -- then I can live on the beach (the cost of living is incredibly cheap) while working in the interior volunteering every day. Sounds like complete heaven to me. I plan to spend the next year really studying my Swahili so I will have a much easier time communicating with the people and reaching out to them.

If anyone is interested in joining me next summer in Tanzania, I invite you with welcome arms. There is so much work to be done here, yet the country and the people are just so beautiful that the work is extremely rewarding. I'll definitely be here for 2 months, perhaps longer, so let me know if you're interested!

Tons of hugs....

Take two!

Where to begin... the reality of being in Africa is starting to settle into the volunteers, and the initial idealism / romanticism of being here is wearing off. After our placement each day we sit around dinner telling our stories, and many of them are not good. Kids are regularly hit/beaten in the government schools. The government turned off the water in the juvenile detention center to save money -- at the home for street kids they are only fed rice, and daily the kids scrape the burnt remnants from the pot because they aren't given enough food to eat. A couple of friends visited the operating room last Friday. Literally. They were not asked to scrub in or wear gowns, they were just allowed to stand there in their street clothes. The woman was having an operation on her uterus with only minimal local anesthesia (there is very little general anesthesia available in the hospitals). Wide awake and utterly terrified she began screaming -- to get her to quiet down the nurse repeatedly slapped her across the face and yelled at her. This is all done in a surgery room littered with bloodied towels from the previous operation while the woman lay on a rubber mat casually placed over a bloodied table, also from the previous operation.

I've been asked to give a series of lectures next week on HIV/AIDS. I know very little on this topic but will read up on it this week/weekend. HIV in this country is of course prevalent -- known statistics place it between 7.5 - 11% (of course the rates are much higher in the urban areas). Interestingly there are plenty of anti-retro viral drugs thanks to George Bush and his commitment to assisting the situation here in Africa (probably the only time I'll ever say something nice about W) but these drugs require that people go to the hospital monthly for treatment, and many cannot afford the bus fare. There is still a stigma of HIV but thankfully it is lessening -- I suppose by this point so many people have it to stigmatize and discriminate is to do so to your own family members / friends. However, many people still refuse to get tested, believing it is better not to know.

The social interaction of the volunteers is interesting to me. We stay in a guarded compound with an 11pm curfew and eat all our meals together. Of course the group has divided rather predictably into their own cliques. Everyone seems quite devoted to their volunteer efforts but the younger ones of course have banded together in a fraternity-like clique (19-22 years) with all of the requisite behaviors and annoying attitudes that go along with such things. There is a modicum of drama, but all in all its a good group of people. Thankfully the girls in my room are amazing, and we all get along really well.

My school is awesome! I've added to my duties teaching the nursery school as well (which, since they are ages 4-6 is really serving as kindergarten) since there are no volunteers there and they were essentially being babysat by one of the girls in the secondary school. I couldn't stand to see the way they were deteriorating so I'll jump in as much as possible. The education system in this country is deplorable. Everything is taught by rote memorization and recitation, there is absolutely no emphasis on critical thinking, problem solving, creative thought, etc... Here is an example: If you point to numbers 1-10 and ask them to count consecutively they can. But if you point to the number 3 they have absolutely no idea what it is, neither in Swahili nor English. I've been trying to teach them "He's Got the Whole World in His Hands" for four days now (not the whole song, just verse one with those 8 words), and they still can barely get it. They do know a few songs, "Hokey Pokey" and "Elephant..." but they have been forced to sing these songs so many times per day that they sound like Stepford children when they recite it. They adopt this robotic, brainwashed tone that totally freaks me out. I refuse to let them sing those songs. We're actually doing better with the singing... I've got them doing the alphabet song (with the Electric company numbers song as a tag at the end), and a traditional Swahili song "Hujambo bwana" which I love. Next week I'll attempt to teach another song, probably "I've Got Peace Like a River." But these kids have been neglected for so long that they can hardly learn new concepts. Americans are obsessed with reading to their kids, Babies for Mozart, play blocks, intellectually stimulating toys, etc... These kids walk to and from school through the cornfields by themselves (at age 4), play in the dirt and rubbish pile on the side of the school, and have a different volunteer teacher standing in front of them every month. Nutrition consists of ugali (corn, flour and water) and maybe a little bit of vegetables. so you can see how their neurological development is of course stunted.

But I love them. I love hugging them (my motto is to give as many hugs as possible each day), I love tickling them and playing soccer with them, I love seeing them smile, I love holding them when they cry. I love them so much, and when I look into their eyes and know that in a month or so I am going to be back in America and they will probably be in the same shitty life situation (or worse) forever, I feel my stomach turn. So I hug them every morning before school begins and every afternoon when school ends. They hug me back so tightly, they never seem to want to let go.

I would like to return here next summer. Of course a part of me wants to volunteer in India, Thailand, Brazil, oh all those wonderful and exotic places one can volunteer and change the world while having a great vacation... But I don't want to be one of those people. I have made a connection here, I have friends, and I want to take everything I have learned this summer and return next summer so I can be a better volunteer, a more efficient volunteer, and see through on my commitment to helping the kids of this country. The cost will be much less as well -- I have connections and have already been offered a place to live, so my expenses will primarily be airfare and living. CCS was great for the first time, I have learned so much about this country and the language through them (and in honesty would probably never have made it here without them), but now that I understand how things work I'll do it on my own next time. We'll see how things progress this year...

I do love it here!! Amidst the tragedy and poverty there is a great spiritual essence. The culture, the people, the natural beauty... I went on safari last weekend and was completely overwhelmed by it. The animals!!!! I probably saw thousands of zebras, hundreds of elephants (including a herd that graciously walked just next to our car), lots of giraffes, and even a male lion eating his dinner right in front of us! God made this place and these people too, but man and especially the West has certainly helped fuck it up.

I have so much more to say, but I also have better things to do than sit in an internet cafe all afternoon. I'll probably journal my thoughts more and then transfer them to this blog later, though I promise to try to get back here next week and write more!!!

Thanks again for all your prayers and well wishes, I certainly feel them over here!!!

Salama.

haha

I just was writing an extensive blog post when the power in the internet cafe shut down and the entire thing was erased. I don't have the energy to write everything again, but I will try to write again soon (and save as I write)...

TONS OF HUGS

Wow, I just realized that my post WAS saved, so here it is (pardon me for any repetition...)

That is my daily motto. I am totally exhausted writing this so pardon any rambling thoughts. This place is intense -- after my initial elation at being here and "doing" good I have settled into somewhat of a sense of resignation.... I dare not say the word futile, for our efforts here ARE making a difference and we ARE affecting peoples lives, but in the end 98% of the volunteers leave and Africa is still here. What is the answer? On Friday I looked into the eyes of my kids and wanted to cry. They are so eager for love, acceptance, knowledge, respect, truth, and they LOVE hugs. I've made it my point to hug every student of mine in the morning when they arrive and at the end of the day when I leave. I also give tons of hugs in between, back rubs, smiles, winks, and as much love as I can possibly send out to them. In the US this would be considered molestation, in Africa this is as desperately needed as food and shelter.

The horrific stories have started to appear amongst my circle of friends here. A couple of volunteers went to the hospital to observe a surgery on Friday, a surgery with only a little local anesthesia and no general. The women was having a procedure done to her uterus and was wide awake. Screaming in terror, she was slapped repeatedly by the nurse and told to shut up while she lay on a rubber mat, placed casually over the bloodied surgical table of the previous patient. My friends stood in the surgery room next to this patient in their street clothes and certainly did not scrub up or wear masks. The floor was littered with bloodied surgical items from the previous patient.

I will make a point of going to the hospital next week to visit the kids in the burn ward. I want to see all of Africa. In honesty there is a sense of romanticism when one decided to go to volunteer in Africa for the first time, this feeling that you are doing something noble for mankind. Then you get here and see the reality of things and that romanticism leaves very quickly, let me tell you.

On a happier note, I went on safari this weekend and probably had one of the greatest experiences of my life. We camped in the nights and went to Ngorongoro Crater on Saturday and Taryngire (sp?) on Sunday. If I tell you that I saw thousands of zebra I might not be exaggerating. Herds of elephants, beautiful giraffe and the best part: a male lion casually strolled past our vehicle, chased off a hyeina and proceeded to eat his dinner there in front of us. I have a video... this blew all of our minds, even our guides, who only see such a thing once or twice a year.

Sunday morning we went to a Masaai village to learn about their culture. The Masaai are one of the last pastoral cultures left in the world: they herd cattle around the land looking for drinking areas in the dry season. They worship the cattle and are seen everywhere in this part of the country devotedly herding their charges. They have the most beautiful clothing and jewlery, and are absolutely stunning as a people, but the Masaai village was also startling to me.... the cattle are kept in a pen in the middle of the village (the huts surround this). Consequently there is cow dung right in their living quarters and the entire area is infested with flies. I saw a baby with 20 flies crawling all over his face, in his eyes and out of his mouth. TIA. Following our lesson in traditional Masaai dance and music (and those women are AMAZING singers) we were herded to tables and urged to buy jewlery. Masaai also sometimes hustle mzungu for pictures, 10,000 tsh for one photo with them (about 8 US dollars). The hustling really disturbed me -- here is a beautiful, majestic culture reduced to harassing white tourists in order to survive. I started a conversation with our guide about this, I hope to continue it soon when I see him again. This continent is so incredibly complex, just as our world is so incredibly complex... it blows my mind, but I am also so happy to be here.

On that note, I have already decided to return here next summer. So many mzungu leave, never to return. They do their token volunteer efforts, they experience the culture, climb Kili, go on safari, etc. and then they are off to the next exciting volunteer adventure: Brazil, Costa Rica, Thailand,

Africa: First thoughts...

I arrived Saturday night, and have been here for 4 days. I had so many things I wanted to write about and now that I am actually sitting in the Internet cafe my mind is fuzzy...

Where to begin...? First off, Africa is amazing. It is so much more than I anticipated and expected. I have always heard of the immense beauty, the graciousness of the people, the immense power and love that eminates through the culture, but until one experiences this first hand it is impossible to imagine.
I stepped off the plane and was immediately overwhelmed with the fresh air that smelled sweet and peaceful. Peaceful is a good word; in Swahili they say salama often, which means peace. Peace of the spirit, within this country of poverty and struggle.

Of course not all is so wonderous. I have been here four days and have heard many horror stories. The women cook their food outside on the fire, and sometimes the playing children fall into the fire. A friend of mine volunteers at the hospital and tells of children covered in burns who have no pain medication and little clean bandages. HIV is of course very prevalent here, but not as much as in some Sub-Saharan countries -- Tanzania has about a 10% infection rate. Often the infected boys/men tell the young girls "Don't worry, its not bad, just like the flu..." to get the girls to sleep with them. The stigma of HIV is lessening and several of the volunteers are working in their placements with women affected with HIV. Many of the children at my school do not have parents, as they have lost both of them to HIV. It is part of life here.

About my placement:
I love my school!!! I am at the Kilimahuwea Informal School for boys and girls. Essentially kids are given a test after primary school. If they pass this test they are allowed to continue to the government-run secondary school. If they fail this test they are never allowed to continue with formal education. They are permitted to attend private school but most families cannot afford this. They have one chance to take the test. If they have a bad day, a bad sleep the night before, are sick, whatever, it makes no difference. If they fail the test that essentially cuts off most of their opportunities. Most become street kids, hustlers, beggers and/or get infected with HIV.

Kilimahewa was built 3 years ago to try to offset this terrible fate. The children
are given classes in math, English, communication (conversation), geography, etc. There are three sections: a nursery school where they sing a lot of songs and learn their basic elements; the 'secondary' school which contains boys and girls ages 14-18; and a technical training program that teaches girls to sew. I am currently working with the sewing girls and will do a bit of teaching in the nursery as well. I love it! I love these girls already and I have only been teaching for two days! They are so eager to learn, loving, gentle, kind, witty, and have a hysterical sense of humor! We've been working on practical English language skills, those that relate to sewing, selling products, complex numbers, etc. I also do math with them, again as a practical tool for their trade. Everything is designed to help them go into the work force and make enough money to support themselves and their families. At least these kids are given a fighting chance. English is the key to success -- if they have good language skills they can work for a tour company, in a hotel, in a store, etc. If they cannot speak English their fate is infinitely more grim.

And the little children! So affectionate! They run up to the mzumi (white person) and are astonished at what they see! Today I had a little girl running her hands all over my face laughing and touching me in glee (she also loved the shininess of my earrings I'm sure).

Mama Fortunata is the head of Kilimahewa school and she is fantastic. She makes clothes for all the volunteers, and yesterday took us on a trip to town so we could pick out our own fabric for her to sew. Of course she charges us for this, but she takes the money and puts it back into the school, therefore I am at one of the very privilaged placements; the girls have several sewing machines (run by their feet, no electricity), there are desks and a few books and even a white-erase board. By most Tanzanian standards this is quite rich, and I am privilaged to be here (actually, one of the main woman who runs CCS Kilimanjaro owns the property that the school is on, so this is her pet project -- hence I think this is why I am here... the last volunteer was a principle of a school in LA Unified, so I suspect she handpicks the most experienced volunteers to go to this school so the kids have an extra special education).

In actuality the government schools can be quite horrific. Corporal punishment is very much in use, and yesterday one of my roommates witnessed such abuse that she came home from her placement in tears. TIA.

A word on pictures: we are asked not to take pictures of the children at our placement until we have been there a few weeks and I am abiding by this strictly. On Monday we toured a local (quite poor) village, and I was horrified by the rude behaviour of some of the new volunteers. They were gathering up the African children and sticking their cameras in their faces taking numerous pictures. Granted the little kids LOVE this and giggle and laugh at all the attention, but to me it screams of yet more Western exploitation... "Oh look at the cute little black African kids... let me take some pictures so I can show everyone at home."

Now granted these kids ARE completely adorable and they do love the attention of the mzuli, but does this make it right? They are not zoo animals (not that I support zoos anyways, but you know what I mean). For those of you who know me well, I was fuming and quite upset, and even bitched out one particularly offensive girl (who was also wearing a lowcut tanktop while revealing her bra when we were specifically asked to dress respectfully and modestly, and cover our shoulders). Some people are completely daft and culturally insensitive -- so I was fuming and I ranted to my friend who is on his third volunteer trip, and I got it off my chest.

But I do love it here. There is a sense of peace, a sense of being home. Tanzania is where homo sapiens is believed to have originated, and perhaps this is why everyone who steps foot in this country doesn't want to leave. I am already regretting my mere 4 weeks in this country (shortened from 5 due to the struggles my friend Kim is going through) -- I'd love to be here for 4 months, but there is always next summer to return.

Asante sana. Niwasiliane!

Some pictures...

Some pics of Vienna / Berlin on Flickr:

http://www.flickr.com/photos/40641283@N03/sets/72157621810532224/

Okay, just a bit on Berlin...

In my pictures you'll see some of the WWII Jewish Holocaust Memorial, which is called Denkmal für die ermordeten Juden Europas, or 'Memorial to the Murdered Jews of Europe.'

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Memorial_to_the_Murdered_Jews_of_Europe

Germany is trying to come to terms with the actions they committed in WWII, and this process is quite fascinating. Instead of a general memorial to the victims of concentration camps, the city of Berlin is giving each persecuted group their own memorial (Jews, gypsies, homosexuals). The Jewish community did not want to only commemorate the victems of the concentration camps because many more Jews have suffered in Europe then were in the gas chambers, hence the title.

The memorial was brilliantly designed; a series of silver colums of various lengths that inhabit a large city block. One walks through these columns , becoming almost lost in the depth of it, yet there is always a clear view to the end (the columns run symmetrically north/south/east/west, like NY City blocks). Decidedly abstract, walking through those columns gives the conscious visitor a sense of desolation and loneliness, yet the message does not intend to hit you on the head (like the list of fallen soldiers at the Vietnam War Memorial).

Note the use of the word 'murder' in the title -- this is Germans trying to be very honest and truthful with what happened, believing that is the only way to find any sort of reconciliation with the past.

Another poignent project; a researcher is compiling lists of names of murdered victims and what apartments they lived in. When this is located a small plaque with their names is installed in the sidewalk outside the apartment, so these people are personified and recognized, and not forgotton.

I also saw the place where Hitler committed suicide in his bunker during the final days. Berliners have made it into a parking lot. A fitting decision.

Plane ride to Kilimanjaro in 16 hours...

At the moment I am in Amsterdam getting ready for my flight tomorrow morning at 10am (ish). Among the items on my to-do list for this evening: laundry; print resume and scan of doctoral diploma (thanks for that pops) needed to prove to the Tanzanian Immigration officials that I have the skills and qualifications to work/volunteer in the country; buy a sweatshirt (I am concerned that I will be cold at night in Tanzania); call parents (make mommy feel better); write postcards; eat a good meal (with my crazy dietary issues who knows what I'll be able to eat once I am there); review Swahili note cards; commence malaria medication; SLEEEEEEEP!

SUMMARY OF TRIP THUS FAR...

Admittedly things got off to a hectic start. After throwing the July 4 bash (thanks again Tim for coming out to be with me and do the craziness once more!!!!) I had a week filled with pages of to-do lists, little sleep, and sensory (emotional) overload. Once I finally arrived in Vienna (midnight Monday July 13) I said hello Katja and Sofia, took a shower and fell asleep for the next 16 hours.

Vienna was fantastic. Talking with Katja till 3am every night, spending quality time getting to know Sofia (her 5 year old daughter), walking around this magnificent historical wonderland... what more could I ask for?

Following this I spent 3 glorious days in Berlin. What a city! Inexpensive, gritty, raw, REAL, filled with amazing artists and intellectuals and amazing encounters. To say everyone that moves to Berlin falls immediately in love with it is not an understatement. My friend put it best -- it has all the vibrancy and energy of a huge city (it is several times larger than Paris) but it is as laid back as a small city (like Montreal or Barcelona). At some point I will write more on my observations of the culture, politics, history, etc. but will leave that for when I return to the states. Sadly, I met a great conversationalist 1 hour before I had to leave for the airport. Hopefully we will continue our conversation in the future.

I've uploaded some photos to Flicker (I'll attempt to put some directly on the blog as well though since I have yet to explore that particular feature it may not work in the remaining 40 minutes that I have on this computer)...

Well, this is it. Tomorrow at this time I'll be in Tanzania and I don't know how much internet access I'll have. Yes friends I'll take tons of pictures and send you each a postcard from there! At the risk of being redunant, thank you once again for your support. Everyone in my life / path has been incredible, including the many friends I have made on this trip [its awesome, typical backpacker initial conversation... 'Hey, where are you heading next...? I'm going to Prague/Budapest/Amsterdam/Barcelona, what about you? Oh, I'm leaving for Africa on Saturday] Hahaha! I loved the reactions =)

Volunteer assignment...

Somehow I got it in my head that I would be teaching young kids, but I just received my official assignment yesterday and I'll actually be working with teenagers (mostly girls) 14-18 at the Kilimahewa School. At first this made me incredibly nervous (somehow 5-10 year olds seem much more manageable than teenagers), but as with all of the elements related to this trip, once I wrap my head around things and sit with it for a bit, I am able to embrace the challenge with confidence.

KILIMAHEWA SCHOOL

Informal School –

Educational activities for teenagers

General Information

Mission and Needs of the Partner Program

Kilimahewa is a community-based organization founded on September 28, 2006. Kilimahewa is owned by the Kilimahewa community members who have cooperated to form a Local CBO under the “Company Limited by Guarantee”

It was initially known as a local brew drinking center for the local community. It is now a learning center for the Kilimahewa community specifically focused for poor women in the village, orphans and youth, and vulnerable children. Vulnerable children are the marginalized and disadvantaged group in socio-economic areas such as street children working in plantations, industries, households and other hardship environments and include children whose parents are living with HIV and/or AIDS and are incapacitated thus rendering them unable to engage in gainful activities.

Currently there are around 100 students, of which at least 80% attend informal education at Kilimahewa regularly. The average age is 14-18 years. 90% of the students are girls and 10% are boys. These kids have struggled to complete elementary education and did not have the chance to continue with O level education (secondary school/ high school) due to their orphan or vulnerable status.

• Encourage and praise the children while also enforcing rules of good behavior.
• Teaching daily classes including English, life skills, sexual health, math and geography.
• Creating class activities/games
• Introducing/facilitating recreational activities (sporting programs, games, music, etc)
• Initiate projects or programs (i.e. helping kids put together a play)
• Participate in initiatives geared towards improvement in community education.
• Interact with students and teachers on a personal level
• Talking and teaching about your home country

Goals for the Volunteer from the Partner Program

Long-Term

Kilimahewa strives to provide informal education and life skills for youth who would not otherwise have the opportunity to attend school.

Short-Term

Volunteers will be supporting instruction in a variety of subjects, including English, geography, mathematics, and life skills. Because of the language barrier, patience and the ability to speak slowly and clearly are important. Encouragement and positive reinforcement will be essential in building students’ confidence.

Obama's Speeh in Africa (July 11)

This man knows how to speak! Here are some excerpts:


"As for America and the West, our commitment must be measured by more than just the dollars we spend. I have pledged substantial increases in our foreign assistance, which is in Africa's interest and America's. But the true sign of success is not whether we are a source of aid that helps people scrape by — it is whether we are partners in building the capacity for transformational change..."

"As Africans reach for this promise, America will be more responsible in extending our hand. By cutting costs that go to Western consultants and administration, we will put more resources in the hands of those who need it, while training people to do more for themselves. That is why our $3.5 billion food security initiative is focused on new methods and technologies for farmers — not simply sending American producers or goods to Africa. Aid is not an end in itself. The purpose of foreign assistance must be creating the conditions where it is no longer needed..."

"One area that holds out both undeniable peril and extraordinary promise is energy. Africa gives off less greenhouse gas than any other part of the world, but it is the most threatened by climate change. A warming planet will spread disease, shrink water resources and deplete crops, creating conditions that produce more famine and conflict. All of us — particularly the developed world — have a responsibility to slow these trends — through mitigation, and by changing the way that we use energy..."

"Now let me be clear: Africa is not the crude caricature of a continent at war. But for far too many Africans, conflict is a part of life, as constant as the sun. There are wars over land and wars over resources. And it is still far too easy for those without conscience to manipulate whole communities into fighting among faiths and tribes.

These conflicts are a millstone around Africa's neck. We all have many identities — of tribe and ethnicity; of religion and nationality. But defining oneself in opposition to someone who belongs to a different tribe, or who worships a different prophet, has no place in the 21st century. Africa's diversity should be a source of strength, not a cause for division. We are all God's children. We all share common aspirations — to live in peace and security; to access education and opportunity; to love our families, our communities, and our faith. That is our common humanity..."

http://www.google.com/hostednews/ap/article/ALeqM5iXHQkTrA9IUUQBC9WHPK3ZMK_ukAD99C8L5G0

Feelings, nothing more than feelings...

I am QUITE emotional right now. This trip represents so much to me: getting away from the stresses of my life and career, using my teaching and skills to give back to humanity, letting go of negative thoughts and past relationships, embracing solitude and fortitude of the self, and being the best friend I can possibly be to two of the most important women in my life. I have been enjoying intense conversations with my friends Suzie and Dave, analyzing my ever-present existential dilemma / search...

*What does it mean to be a human being in the 21st century?

*What does it mean to be an artist?

*What does it mean to live in the luxury of the West while 1 out of 6 people are in poverty and don't have enough to eat globally?

*What responsibilities do we have to make this world a better place and how much of that responsibility do I want to take on?

These questions consume my soul, and until I find those answers I won't know truly who I am or who I am meant to be. Thanks for the inspiring conversations guys, I always appreciate them! =)


GETTING READY
I am very excited to volunteer!!!! I bought a book of Raffi songs (I was going to bring nursery rhymes, but the language barely makes sense to me, much less trying to teach it to non-native English speakers). How on earth was I going to explain "Humpty Dumpty" or "The Old Woman that Lived in a Shoe"...? Raffi is much more appropriate to the task at hand: "Thanks for the sun in the sky, thanks for the clouds so high..."

My mother's friend had the brilliant idea of my bringing a harmonica! My guitar skills are sadly lacking, and there is no way I would drag a guitar through this crazy trip but a harmonica sounds perfect! I've been working a bit on my Swahili, but will upload the language CD's to my IPOD and do concentrated study over the next two weeks. I do have about 20 hours of plane time to get through!

That same friend urged me strongly to try to fit all my belongings into a single carry-on pack. For those of you that know me, that is a herculean task, but I am going to try my darndest! My nightmare would be losing my luggage, and with all the flights I am taking unfortunately that is a real possibility. The idea of stripping down my life to the bare essentials is quite appealing, so I am confident I will live up to this task!

My mom and I are going shopping right now to pick up my last-minute necessities. I must say she has been great about all this -- a slight panicky conversation now and again, but for the most part she has been incredibly brave about sending her baby girl to Africa.

In a moment of inspiration, I broke down and bought a Global Network BlackBerry yesterday. With the rebates and my Verizon credit it was less than $99, and this way mom can email/text me anytime she wants and receive a relatively timely response (Verizon assures me this will work in Tanzania, but we'll see, hahaha)! Seriously, this was a brilliant idea, and a steal! Unlimited email and web surfing anywhere in the world for $65/month; I feel happy because it will also take the edge off the loneliness when it inevitably seeps into certain moments. When feeling sad and disconnected, post on Facebook! =)

So friends, fear not, I am well within reach over the next two months. In fact, incoming texts are only 5 cents each, so keep texting me as if I'm still in Jerz!